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Dear Future Lover, Here’s What I’m Unlearning

Before you ever trace your fingers down the inside of my truth, you need to know what I’m leaving behind.

I’ve loved before, but not like I want to love now.

I’ve performed affection with the precision of a surgeon. I’ve said “I’m fine” because it kept things easier. I’ve watered down my needs so I wouldn’t feel like a burden. I’ve stayed silent in the moments I should’ve screamed.

I’m not proud of any of it. But I understand it now.

And I’m unlearning all of it for you.

I’m unlearning the way I used to disappear when I felt misunderstood. I’m unlearning the lie that needing you means losing myself. I’m unlearning the fear that telling the truth will make you leave.

Because the truth is what I want now. Not just your truth—ours.

I don’t want the version of love that’s built on shared hobbies and tolerable flaws. I want the kind that wakes you up. The kind that sees everything—the grief, the shame, the power, the softness—and chooses it anyway.

So if and when you find me, I want you to know: I’ve done the work to arrive honest.

And I will not love you in the shadows of my old silence.

I will meet you in the light of my unlearning.